Just Give Me A Reason
by stillstanding13
Summary: After losing the love of her life, 9 months after the tragedy Star is still mourning in her bed. Being a widow at 23 is tough. The man you thought you were going to be with for the rest of your life suddenly vanishes and all that's left is the memories. When her friends take her to karaoke to cheer her up and stumbles upon Tom Hiddleston, can she learn to love again? Tom/OC


**It's been awhile my dearies, **

**I haven't done this in awhile so don't sue me for my grammar issues.**

**My friend originally came up with the idea for this story and I just embellished it into this.**

**Constructive and kind criticism is appreciated. :)**

**I hope you enjoy the story. ;)**

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T ANY OF THE SONGS USED IN THIS! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MY OWN CHARACTERS! I DON'T OWN TOM HIDDLESTON!

* * *

I stare at the window as rain drops slide down. I always thought when I was little that the sky was crying when it rained. That the sky was releasing the pain that it built up after so many sunny days of happiness. The openings in the grass fill up quickly as the rain pours into them her tears. On these sort of days I like to try to remember what I was.  
Who I was before I met him and everything changed. I stare at the rain and in it I see my own paradise. The hazy high of yesterdays promises that past and gone like smoke from a candle. I sit and try to remember but I can't. I don't remember who I was before I met him. Only that what I was, was taken from me. That he took my best and sucked it out. All that was left of me was a shell. The only thing I remember and see is him.  
Images fall with rapid constancy through my brain of his face, his smell, that crazy grin of his, those beautiful brown eyes, his warm rough hands touching my face, his gentle kiss. Above it all the friendship he shared with me.  
Waking up to his goofy face in the morning kissing my nose and saying, "Good morning, my starry night."  
Tickling or poking me awake. Grant was such a annoyingly happy person in the morning, that I swear if I didn't love him so much I would shank him. When I would wake up after so many times of him poking me or trying to put Moon our irish wolfhound on our bed to lick my face, I would chase him around the room with my pillow for waking me up.  
I miss those mornings, our talks, movie times, singing while making dinner, walking on the beach together at night, the days where we just like to annoy each other, and dance around the apartment in our pajamas on our days off. We did almost everything together.  
The days we shared together, before he withered away and vanished off the face of the earth. Like a dream. I sometimes wonder if I just dreamed this all up, but he lived.  
The thought that shook me the most; was that my best friend was gone, and never coming back. That this dream was real and it became a nightmare the day he slipped away.  
When the rain stopped and the sky got dark; I went into bed and put my face in his pillow. Inhaling his smell and imagining him singing softly in my ear our song.  
I started to drift to sleep when my phone rang. I drudge my hand on the bedside table on Grant's side and picked up my phone and sliding the touch screen haphazardly.  
Groggily I answered, "Hello..?"  
"Hey Star! Wanna go to karaoke with me, and Lesly at Chino's?" It was Ashley my bass guitar player in my band and one of my best friends.  
"I don't know Ash... I'm really not in the mood."  
I hear her sigh on the other end. "This doesn't have anything to do with Grant, does it?"  
I can't bring myself to answer because I think I might start crying if I do and from the tone in Ashley's voice, I can tell she regrets even mentioning him at all.  
"Star, I'm sorry... But please come with us. You, Lesly, and I go get a few drinks, go to a karaoke bar and have a girls night. I know what happened was hard but you need to get out of that apartment. It's not good for you. Plus, I know you can't resist karaoke."  
"Well..." I knew I wasn't really in the mood to go out for the evening, but she was right. I needed to get out of my apartment for a while.  
"Sure; why not?"  
"Awesome! By the way, they're doing 'Blind Duet Night' tonight at 10."  
"Blind Duet Night?"  
"Yeah; everybody who wants to participate puts their name in two baskets; one for guys, one for girls. Your given a number ticket, then they pick names from each basket, they call out their numbers, and whoever they pick has to sing a duet together."  
"THAT'S why you were trying to get me to go."  
"I'm not saying you've gotta do it. But who knows? Maybe you might meet somebody worth warming your voice up for."  
"Fine." I sigh and scratch my head.  
Ashley laughed and said, "Good girl. Now put on something cute to wear and I'll pick you up at 9:00."  
"Okay, see in a bit.", I say grudgingly.  
"Goodbye." Ashley said theatrically.  
I touch the 'End' option on my touch screen and turn on the light in my dark room.  
The room was messy and looked like a tornado hit it. I sighed and walked over the clothes on the ground to my side of the closet. I try to avoid my eyes from looking at his clothes. I found a dark red sleeveless chiffon dress that ended at my mid thigh. This was Grant's favorite date dress that I had. I shrugged out the thought and threw it on. Up top it was lace but the rest was a chiffon. I paired that up with some comfy black flats and a black leather jacket. I drudged over to the bathroom and looked at myself and flinched at my dark circles and my crazy hair.  
I looked like I was the one who died, I laughed at my own bad joke.  
I pulled out my makeup bag and worked a miracle on my face. I just settled for a simple look with a cat eye and red lips.  
I brushed my unruly hair and when all my waves were tamed I settled for it.  
I looked in the mirror and saw a almost normal human being looking back at me. I looked down at my wedding ring debating to leave it on or put it on the dresser. I kept it on and walked out of the bathroom.  
I played with Moon until Ashley, and Lesly knocked at the door. I opened it and left the house.

* * *

It was 10:30 and I am feeling completely uncomfortable. The people were loud and obnoxious the more the night went on.  
Ashley and Lesley were having a blast singing with random people. We had been there for 45 minutes and I hadn't even been called to sing yet.  
Meanwhile it was Lesly's turn and she was jamming with her duet partner to Titanium.

**_"Cut me down_**  
**_But it's you who'll have further to fall_**  
**_Ghost town and haunted love_**  
**_Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones_**  
**_I'm talking loud not saying much_**

**_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose_**  
**_Fire away, fire away_**  
**_Ricochet, you take your aim_**  
**_Fire away, fire away_**  
**_You shoot me down but I won't fall_**  
**_I am titanium_**  
**_You shoot me down but I won't fall_**  
**_I am titanium_**  
**_I am titanium_**  
**_I am titanium"_**

"Come on Star. You've gotta sing something." Ashley hounded me once again.  
"I will, but they haven't called me yet." I said as I took an another sip of my lemonade. I didn't want to drink any alcohol, it didn't look appealing at the moment.  
Ashley walked off somewhere, while I stared at the floor trying to make myself disappear. My headache was getting more profound as the loud music kept pounding. I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes. I heard someone approach me and looked up hesitantly.  
Ashley stood in front of me hyperventilating and trying to mouth words. This couldn't be good. I looked up to her frantically and asked, "What is it? What happened?"  
She mumbled out, "Tom Hidd...eston."  
I look her again and said, "What? I can't understand you."  
She breathed out a second time in a low mumbled breath, "Tom Hiddleston... is ...ehh HERE!"  
I sat there frozen. I felt like life was mocking me in that moment. Grant loved the Thor comic books and his favorite villain Loki. We went to see Avengers when it came out, on one of our date nights. I remembered how much he loved Tom's acting and wouldn't shut up about it for the rest of the night.  
The reminders were everywhere now, and I definitely want to leave.  
Ashley saw the look on my face and she knew why.  
"Star, it's been a 9 months and I understand your still hurting but you need to move on. I cannot condone what he did to you, and if this really bothers you we can leave. Just say when. "  
I smiled and said, "Thanks Ash, for understanding. We can leave in 15 minutes."  
I was about to put on my jacket when the announcer called my number.  
"Number 27 and Number 62."  
Ughh. Great.  
Ashley and Lesley gave me a look. I shrugged and said, "I guess one song before we go."  
The chances with me singing with Tom are 1 in a million. No way would he be my duet partner. I walk up to the stage holding my number 27 to dear life and gave it to the announcer. I walked up to the stage and didn't look back to see who my partner was. I heard the tall person walk up to the mike beside mine, as goosebumps raised on my skin. I steadily tried to level my breathing. The music started and looked at the lyrics on the screen. Recognizing the song I winced, and tried to push the paradoxical feeling of this moment. I sang with my heart on my sleeve, the first lines.

**_"Right from the start_**  
**_You were a thief_**  
**_You stole my heart_**  
**_And I your willing victim_**  
**_I let you see the parts of me_**  
**_That weren't all that pretty_**  
**_And with every touch you fixed them"_**

Why did this song have to be so ironic? The day I met him. I felt my eyes well up tears. This just too much for me, but I kept singing. I felt a tear roll down.

**_"Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh_**  
**_Things you never say to me, oh, oh_**  
**_Tell me that you've had enough_**  
**_Of our love, our love_**

**_Just give me a reason_**  
**_Just a little bit's enough_**  
**_Just a second we're not broken just bent_**  
**_And we can learn to love again_**  
**_It's in the stars_**  
**_It's been written in the scars on our hearts_**  
**_We're not broken just bent_**  
**_And we can learn to love again"_**

I took a deep breath and prayed that Tom Hiddleston wasn't next to me. I closed my eyes and listened for the voice of my partner.

_**"I'm sorry I don't understand**_  
_**Where all of this is coming from**_  
_**I thought that we were fine"**_

I recognized his voice and the crowd gave it away. Shouting girls screamed, "We love you, Tom!" I started freaking out inside but kept focused on the song.

_**"(Oh, we had everything)**_  
_**Your head is running wild again**_  
_**My dear we still have everythin'**_  
_**And it's all in your mind**_  
_**(Yeah, but this is happenin')**_

_**You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh**_  
_**Used to lie so close to me, oh, oh"**_

I made myself look over at him and sang our part. He wore a dark cotton blue buttoned shirt and black jeans. His honey colored curly hair was neatly sorted. His blue eyes twinkle and he smiled as I looked over at him.  
I blushed and smiled a little back.

_**"There's nothing more than empty sheets**_  
_**Between our love, our love**_  
_**Oh, our love, our love**_

_**Just give me a reason**_  
_**Just a little bit's enough**_  
_**Just a second we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again**_  
_**I never stopped**_  
_**You're still written in the scars on my heart**_  
_**You're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again"**_

As it got to the break down we faced each other and sang. He was making me nervous for a odd reason and oddly comfortable. Relaxed to the point that I felt comfortable to act the emotions in the song. He went along and pretended that these words were for each other. His cool fingers touched my face and wiped the tears from my eyes. I was crying? It felt almost real.

_**"Our tear ducts can rust**_  
_**I'll fix it for us**_  
_**We're collecting dust**_  
_**But our love's enough**_  
_**You're holding it in**_  
_**You're pouring a drink**_  
_**No nothing is as bad as it seems**_  
_**We'll come clean**_

_**Just give me a reason**_  
_**Just a little bit's enough**_  
_**Just a second we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again**_  
_**It's in the stars**_  
_**It's been written in the scars on our hearts**_  
_**That we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again**_

_**Just give me a reason**_  
_**Just a little bit's enough**_  
_**Just a second we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again**_  
_**It's in the stars**_  
_**It's been written in the scars on our hearts**_  
_**That we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again"**_

He grabbed my hand and spun me around for my last part of the song. Whatever cologne he was wearing made me high on cloud nine. He smiled at me as I try not to giggle as he spun me around.

_**"Oh, we can learn to love again**_  
_**Oh, we can learn to love again**_  
_**Oh, oh, that we're not broken just bent**_  
_**And we can learn to love again"**_

We bowed at the end of the song, as the crowd went wild. I smiled genuinely for the first time in 9 months. I felt almost alive again.  
The crowd was getting a bit too crazed, as one of the crying girls in the front of the crowd jumped on stage. With strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, and wearing a Avengers shirt. She ran to Tom but I pushed her from him. She scratched my face with her thick long nails, while in the process and tried to pull off my wedding ring. I snatched my hand away and by then body guards came rushing out. Tom reached for my hand as we were escorted off the stage. His body guards walked us to the VIP room upstairs. I internally was wanting to run away from this. I really didn't want to talk with Tom. I don't want to be reminded anymore of Grant. This was just too close. Why did this have to happen?  
His hand was firmly around mine as we walked up the stairs. We walked through a door into a fancy hallway with private karaoke rooms. We walked through a door to large dark purple room with long black couches, a black mini fridge, a large flat screen TV that held a song selection list, a large black coffee table with microphones and tambourines. The room was dimly lit with a crystal ball on the ceiling and other fancy chandelier like lamps on the walls.  
When we arrived, all the body guards guarded the outside while only one man came inside with us. He had brown hair and a lean face with hazel eyes. He wore a black button up and dark slacks. His head of security or his manager? I had no idea but he looked important. Tom let go of my hand and turned to me when we got in, as the man with black shirt spoke to Tom in undertone, "Tom your going have to sneak out. It's crazy out there. We're putting out a double through the front, so you can get out through the back. Also what about her?"  
The man's hazel eyes narrowed at me, like I was threat.  
Tom replied with ease, "She's fine, Philipe. Thank you, for your assistance."  
His tone was soothing calm and the English accent made added to the effect.  
Like a jazz clarinet during a Adagietto piece.  
I sat down on one of the long black couches in the corner of the room, feeling a little sick to my stomach.  
The man nodded took one final gaze at me and walked out of the room. My cheek was burning as I put my hand on it. Pulled away as it stung to touch it. I look at the blood on my hand and almost passed out.  
Tom then grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and got a napkin from on top of the coffee table.  
Pouring a bit of water into the napkin; he asked, "May I?"  
I nodded mechanically, confused at his action.  
He brushed some of my hair away from the right side of my face and pressed the cool wet napkin. I winced and moved away from his hand, at the painful smell that emanated from my face. I always hated blood. The smell of it was making me nauseous, as I held my arms around my stomach. Seeing my jesture he made soft shushing sounds and held my shoulder. Rubbing it in circles and put the napkin back to my face. I didn't jerk away as he said reassuringly, "It hurts, but it looks like it isn't going to scar. You'll be okay."  
This just in some ways made it worse. Even though his words did soothe me, they somehow made me angry. I haven't felt angry in so long it felt so foreign. I knew it was anger from how it burned in my veins, like acid as I looked at his face. I was angry at how much I wished I wasn't in this room with him and how I should've never gotten on that stage. I felt suddenly angry, at the time I've wasted looking for something that wasn't there anymore.  
I scrutinized his crystal blue eyes trying to find some insincerity or form of forgery.  
He stared back at me with look of genuine concern and a some form of gratitude.  
The more I stood in his gaze the more I felt guilty and myself losing my grit. I looked down in defeat at my attempt to stare him down. I realized that I was putting all my bereavement emotions non-intentionally at him. I was blaming this poor guy that I don't even know from Adam about my wasted time. I probably looked so stupid right now. Embarrassed at what I was just doing, I felt my face turning red.  
I've always been bad at hiding my feelings, so I tried as best as I could to hide my painful emotions. I randomly thought of the ocean, oak trees, and tire swings. Pretty much anything that put myself in another place.  
While I was trying to zone out, he asked me, "Thank for what you did back on stage. I'm sorry I don't have a bandage to put on you. Were you alright up there? Are you okay?"  
I debated quickly how I should answer. I knew I couldn't say the truth because it's embarrassing and the sooner I got away from him the better. So I shook off the claim with a animated reply, "I'm okay now, but thanks. I don't want to keep you trapped here."  
I got up turning and was about to walk towards the door, when he grabbed my hand. I turned to look him as he said pleadingly,  
"Wait! So soon? I didn't even get a name to remember with that incredible voice you have."  
I looked back down as I tried to stopped the smile that omitted. I sheepishly said,  
"My name is, Star."  
Tom smiled and said almost with amusement flickering his eyes,  
"Star, now that wasn't so bad? Was it?"  
I laughed half-heartedly and shook my head at him, "No, and thank you for helping me."  
I smiled as I let go of his hand but he still didn't let go as he said,  
"I really don't want to leave you like this, after what you did for me back there. You want to get out of here and get some ice cream with me?"  
I shook my head and exclaimed, "You don't have to do that plus it's kind of late and my friends are probably looking for me."  
He didn't let me off easy, "Rain check, then?"  
I internally groaned as I nodded, "Sure."  
He pulled out his phone and asked me, "Can I have your number?"  
I begrudgingly nodded and said, "Sure."  
He gave me his phone for me to I typed my name into his contacts.  
I debated if I should give him Lesley or Ashley's number instead of mine.  
Noting how unlikely that I will probably see him again, and him actually follow through with his promise of a 'rain check' being he's a busy person. I decided to give my number.  
I gave him his phone back and he smiled widely.  
"So, I guess I'll go now." I said meekly.  
He nodded and said with another breathtaking grin, "I'll most certainly get back with you. It was a pleasure meeting you."  
I smiled sheepishly and replied, "The pleasure is all mine; I enjoyed singing with you."  
I then stepped out of the room swiftly and walked out of the VIP hall back to the commons section.  
I pulled out my phone and called Lesley.  
It only twice as she picked screaming, "SO HOW WAS IT?! WHAT'S HE LIKE?  
OH MY GOD! YOU SANG WITH TOM HIDDLESTON! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"  
I pulled the phone away from my ear and said, "Relax Lesly, he's just a man. Not a greek god or even a asgardian one besides the one he plays on screen."  
Ashley's voice came on the phone with a more subdued excitement, "So are you with him?! He's with you? Where are you? Can we meet him?!"  
I sighed and said, "I'm walking back out towards the commons area and I am not with him."  
Ashley warned, "Be careful there's a riot outside. They made everyone leave the club. TMZ and a load of other reporters are out here. He came back out here with a jacket over his head but I didn't think it was him. Currently everyone is outside. We are in the car. Just run out and try not to be recognized."  
I groaned, "Okay."  
Then I hung up.  
I put my bangs over my eyes, put my shades on, and threw on my jacket, as I prepared to walk outside the building. I pushed the door and saw all the reporters diving towards a black SUV. Which I'm assuming the double is in.  
I ran out the building unrecognized. I saw Ashely's old black 99 Toyota and ran to the car.  
I opened the door and jumped in the passenger side. Taking off my sunglasses as I looked at Ashley and Lesly's excited faces. I then said, "Before you shoot me with questions, please just get me out of this parking lot unnoticed." Without another word, Ashley pulled out and drove out of the parking lot. I ducked my head for the longest time until Ashley said, "You can come out now."  
I got up, and we were on the free way.  
I sighed relieved that we were far away from there.  
Lesly then asked, "So how was it?"  
I replied honestly, "It was uncomfortable and strange. He's a really nice guy, surprisingly."  
That was the truth for the most part. I really didn't feel like talking about it.  
Ashley shot another question, "Did you get a autograph?"  
I laughed bitterly to myself, "No, I just wanted to leave because I was getting nauseous from the blood from my cut."  
Lesly then pressed, "Come on details! Your being so vague."  
Ashley said, "Lesly, let her be. She can talk about it, when she wants to talk about it."  
I silently thanked Ashley. It was silent for the rest of the ride home.

* * *

When I got home, I took a long shower and cried. It was different from my usual lonely crying for Grant, but a angry one.  
Anger that I was still lurking towards something that I realized was something already dead and gone. The time I've wasted, the tears I've shed, the pains I've felt. I couldn't understand where all this was coming from but I knew I couldn't keep living like I was now.  
The water burned with the fury that flowed in me like a wildfire.  
For the first time in the nine months that he'd been dead, I felt angry that he chose to die. That he chose to throw his life and not even think of what would become of my own.  
The thought of that pierced me with hurt I've been trying to shut out for months. That he left me alone to walk the face of the earth without him and did it purposely to hurt me. He wrecked his life by killing himself, I wrecked myself believing that he loved me, and that this was my fault. I wiped my tears and got out of the shower. I wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at myself. My hazel eyes hollow with all my make up running down my cheeks. I couldn't be a corpse anymore, I thought the more I really looked at myself. I chuckled quietly at my own joke. I wiped my face and being careful around my cut. After, I brushed my teeth and went into the bedroom.  
After I put on my pajamas, my phone buzzed.  
I looked at the text on the screen it was from a unknown number.  
When I looked at the message I already knew who it was.

_Hey Star, it's me. I again want to say I absolutely enjoyed the pleasure of singing with you tonight. _  
_I hope the cut on your cheek has a speedy recovery_.  
_In the meantime, would you do me the pleasure of joining me for coffee Tuesday evening at 4;30?(I hope you haven't forgotten our rain check.) ;)_

I stared at the screen for 10 minutes and turned it off. I had no idea how to answer that.

* * *

**Until next time, my sunshines. xxxx**

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